Advice for Newly Married Men - Part 1

Resist the urge to ever tell your wife she looks like she lost weight.  conventional wisdom (and countless comedians) will tell you that this is a viable tactic for extricating yourself from any level of mistake.  Forgotten birthday, unwashed dishes, a wandering eye.  This would be a mistake.  The most invaluable pretense that any man can maintain is a total ignorance of his wife's physical shape.  This is not to say that you shouldn't take every opportunity to tell your wife you know she's beautiful.  She is (or, you should say so), and you should tell her that often.  However, if you profess to have some ability to discern her weight loss, you automatically qualify yourself as an expert, thereby opening yourself to being subpeonaed to testify when she feels she gains weight.  Avoid this conversation at all costs.  "You always looks the same to me; beautiful.  I just don't notice your weight."  This is most conveniently cultivated when she has in fact lost weight.  RESIST  the urge to tell her.  Instead, summon the strength to avoid the simple route and tell her she always looks the same to you.  Trust me.