A proud Euskarian name, brought in all likelihood, albeit piecemeal, from the Celtic tribes from northern Europe. surviving the linguistic influences of Gascony and Aquitani tribes from the time of Ptolemy, it hitched a ride on some of the earliest seafaring vessels departing from Europe. Landing at last on the island now known as Hispaniola, manning ships of Cristobal Colombo, and then establishing itself amongst the Taino peoples. Intermingling with the bloodlines of a native population possessed of such distinguished persons as Anacona of Xaragua, a warrior queen who resisted the waves of conquistadors. Maintaining its singular dignity, this family name flourished for another several centuries before producing a prodigious baseballing set of genes, whose scion escaped with his mother for the shores and opportunities of the US. The man carrying this name rose quickly through the farm system, in spite of being drafted 402nd overall in 1999 by the St. Louis Cardinals. Named rookie of the year in 2001, he achieved unparalleled fame, honoring his namesake forbears by becoming a nine time all star in Major League Baseball. An historic name, now inscribed on bedroom posters and finding its way into thousands of packs of baseball cards, collected and sold the world over.
One pack of which was purchased for my five-year-old nephew, who just so happens to be learning to read. A name for the centuries, nay millenia, waiting patiently in a stack as a young man sounds out the words that describe careers, lifetimes of achievement. And then, finally....
"Al...Albert. Albert. Albert. Poo...Poo jols. Poojols. Albert Poo-jols."
"No Daniel. Its pronounced 'Poo-holes.'"
A light comes on. If there's one thing more resonant with the under-6 set than sporting achievement, its potty talk. Adult sanctioned potty talk.
"His name is poo-holes? Albert Poo-holes?"
"Yes, Daniel. That man's name is Poo-holes."
Cackling ensues, and a proud line of warriors and sea-faring adventurers dims slightly.
"Poo-holes, Poo-holes! Allllbeeert POO-HOLES!"
"POO-HOLES!"
Sorry, Albert.
